A Feasibility Study
by Lord Ficmungus
Summary: I always heard blondes can be a little empty-headed, but sheesh.
1. Chapter 1

Spider-Woman fell out of the air and crashed through a row of shipping crates. Dr. Octopus walked through warehouse on two of his mechanical tendrils, stopping when his shadow was looming over her. His flailing limbs were covered in extra reinforcements to support the weight of the experimental power armor he was wearing.

Gwen sat up in the rubble and shook her head to regain her bearings. A mild headache was about to become the least of her problems.

"This is the end, Spider-Woman," Dr. Octopus declared. "You're going to be the first student in my new training program!"

"You're the only one who needs training," Spider-Woman snorted back. "Someone should teach you how to be less of a cre-…"

She was cut off by a wall of metal tentacles reaching out for her. Two of them wrapped under her arms and over her shoulders. Another hooked her around the waist. They lifted her agile frame easily off of the ground, holding her several feet above Doc Ock.

Gwen struggled against the tentacles and thrashed her legs. One of the doctor's limbs latched onto her hood and pulled the cloth down to her neck. Another more specialized arm slowly rose up behind her, hovered toward the back of her head, and opened its titanium claws to reveal a massive surgical drill.

Gwen never saw it coming for her, but she was awake long enough to feel it. The tentacle punched through the thin fabric on the back of her mask and fastened itself to her skull with a sharp _crunch_. The tendril vibrated like a jackhammer, then made a sound like a water tank suddenly losing pressure. A few strands of blonde hair slipped down the back of Gwen's neck, along with a couple tiny drops of blood that managed to escape the tight vacuum seal.

Spider-Woman dangled in the air like a limp puppet. Something gradually moved out of the back of her head and through the tentacle's clear vacuum hose. Spongy and gray, it was covered with neurons that twinkled in the tentacle's housing fluid.

It was Gwen's brain. A tiny electrical pulse flowed through the tentacle in the opposite direction, sending minimal electrical signals into her body and barely keeping her alive while she lacked a central nervous system. At best, she could only survive for a few minutes in this state.

The brain was absorbed through the tentacle's winding insulation and ended up in a container between Dr. Octopus' hands. The core of the device spun like a turbine as raw energy poured out of his armored fingers. The rest of his tentacles coiled in and plugged into sockets on every side of the device, injecting swarms of nanites that hotwired the captured organ and reprogrammed its consciousness. Gwen's memories were systematically rearranged or washed away entirely in a grotesque spin cycle.

The tentacles detached from the turbine as it cooled down. The seal opened again, allowing Gwen's brain to start its slow and careful trip back to her hollowed out cranium. The gray matter now glowed in an icy electric blue.

Spider-Woman's brain slipped back into her head. Microscopic surgical tools mended all of the broken blood vessels and reattached the nerves. Her body slowly began to twitch again.

The tentacle cauterized the gaping wound in the back of her head and sealed the missing bone with a metal plate. It opened its claws and detached itself, allowing the other tentacles to lower Gwen back to the ground.

Once she was completely free, Spider-Woman raised her hand to her masked eyes and curiously flexed her fingers. She pulled her hood back up, conveniently hiding the augmentations in the back of her head. Her hair would cover it up when she wasn't in her costume. The plate provided easy access, just in case she needed any secondary revisions.

The eyes of Gwen's mask shrank into sinister pink ovals. She broke into maniacal laughter.

Dr. Octopus laughed back at her.

Gwen laughed some more.

Doc laughed with her.

And then they took over the world together. Or they just did their own version of the Amazing Spider-Man #56 cover.

The End.

* * *

 _Author's note: The other tentative titles I was thinking about using for this were "Brainwashed," "Separation Anxiety," and "The Krang Effect."_


	2. Chapter 2

Gwen was nestled in a large operating chair. Legs crossed, she was wearing a simple striped shirt with a miniskirt. Her nails tapped against the arms of her seat, practicing the rhythm for a drum part as she hummed to herself and blew on a wad of bubblegum. Her new manager had allowed her to keep her personal life while she was working undercover.

Behind her, a large power cable trailed across the floor and through an opening in the back of her headrest. It was plugged deep in her soft brain tissue. Maybe it was uploading information on how to find and destroy the doctor's enemies. Maybe it was communicating a chemical signal that told her brain's receptors to mutate her body further and increase her spider-powers. Or maybe it was just stopping in to make sure her inherent free will wasn't putting up a last minute fight for survival.

Doctor Octopus worked on a terminal nearby. He and Gwen were surrounded by a circle of screens that showed a 360 degree exploration of her cerebrum. All of the visceral imagery and digital renderings probably would have seemed appetizing to a zombie in a B-movie, but none of it bothered Gwen. Her mental programming made sure these regular check-ups never got to her. This was the new "normal."

"Miss Stacy," Doctor Octopus shook his head and mumbled in annoyance.

"Yeah?" Gwen asked as she chewed casually.

"Would you please stop that? I'm trying to finish these adjustments. I must concentrate."

"Sorry," she said as she let her drumming fingers come to a rest. "Try not to break anything in there."

The data port on the end of the cable twisted in a semi-circle and pressed further into Gwen's head. She found it strangely relaxing.


	3. Three-for-One Deal

" _The itsy bitsy spider crawled up the water spout."_

\- Electro

" _You're pretty cool under fire, chief."_

\- Michael Payton, _Viper_

* * *

Gwen was never short on colorful foes trying to break her neck. New York was a dangerous place for any girl trying to balance the band life with being the secret partner of an insane doctor obsessed with world conquest. But Gwen lived by the mantra that no danger could beat you and any challenge could turn into an opportunity if you just kept an open mind.

This time she had crossed paths with three fearless female web crawlers not unlike herself. Cindy Moon, or Silk when she was incognito. Jess Drew, a Spider-Woman from another city, district, and/or parallel dimension. Anya Corazon, who liked to call herself Spider-Girl. Gwen didn't put much thought into the personal intricacies of who they were, though. None of those were going to matter now.

The sounds of shuffling Lycra rose through the concrete pillars as masks were moved out of the way, soon followed by bursts of sharp wet crunching noises as cranial spaces were violated.

The real Spider-Woman tilted her head and stretched her worn out shoulders as she stood in the crumbling aftermath of the five-way battle. Doctor Octopus loomed behind her, brandishing an even more diabolical version of his brain-processing machine between his fists. The tentacles were pumping and the fresh inventory was already in transit.

Gwen and Oc's opponents were sitting up, sprawled out, or huddled over in whatever unfavorable position the tentacles had docked with them. Their bodies were motionless aside from simple electronic-regulated breathing, and their motor functions remained completely suspended. The designs of their masks allowed a unique view into each wearer's captured mental state. Spider-Woman Jess had the point of her tongue slightly hanging out of her lips. Silk's eyes were rolled far into the back of her head and showed their pearly unblinking whites. Spider-Girl's face was a panel of black fabric stretched over blank, lifeless features and framed by sparkling germ-free surgical knives.

Spider-Woman and Spider-Girl flinched with a short, pathetic " _ughm_ " and gave up their nervous centers like adventurous goldfish crackling out of their glass bowls, but Silk was having a little trouble popping open. Gwen wrenched the cranial excavator into the back of her skull double-strong and gave her a couple of extra whacks on the head before the important matter came flooding out. It was good to have a helper with first-hand experience.

Silk's brain swept through the clear metallic tentacles last, joining the other two after taking a smooth trip through airtight pneumatic tubing 30 feet away from any of their bodies. She was late for biology class, but she wasn't going to miss a single note from the lecture. Today's topic: Extreme social interactions.

The liberated minds wound up bumping together in a tank of artificial spinal fluid held firmly between Octavius's arms. The device used against Gwen had been an early prototype constructed with relatively modest ambitions. With all of the scientific data he had scraped from her, Octavius was able to create a more powerful working model that could handle several loads at once. The latest system was designed to take in multiple specimens and use their shared bioelectricity to speed up the efficiency of the mental formatting. It could be thought of as a form of "hive reeducation," ordering in bulk to save on long-term costs.

Now to put all of his efforts to the ultimate test.

Gwen hopped between the fallen heroines like an acrobatic nurse in an intensive care ward, checking the auxiliary cables and giving each empty body a light prod. She had to make sure no stray impulses were leaking through and the reflexes were all on hold like they were supposed to be. She broke into a bubbly a cappella jingle as she worked.

"Little Spidey Gwen Gwen, swingin' through the city. Roundin' up other spider gals and boppin' open their brains."

Octavius snickered under his breath. The cerebrumotomy samples were well on their way to reaching perfection in his cold grasp, three defenseless pink lobes spinning around a high voltage agitator and kept alive purely by his brilliance. A rare smile crept out from under his tinted welding helmet as Gwen's demented little tune inspired him to process faster.

Gwen hopped, flipped, and clung her way above the hollowed-out test dummies so she could watch from upside-down front row seating. It was only when her sing-song reached its second verse that her voice started to become grating.

"Little Docty Ock Ock, wigglin' through the spider brains. Deletin' all their mean thoughts and wipin' those bootays clean."

"Ms. Stacy!" Octavius boomed from the ground, shouting over the droning electricity and roaring water. "My concentration, please!"

"Sorry, Doc." Spider-Woman frowned through the white contours of her mask. She reached behind her hood and scratched the indentations of the easy access port welded to her brain stem.

The droning slowed down, but the three clusters of neurons in Doctor Octavius's ecotank glowed steady ice blue. He turned the dials and threw the necessary levers to shoot the brains back into their owner's bodies. He may have cranked the wrong valve and gotten Cindy's mixed up with Jess's somewhere along the way, but the extreme stabilization of their mental waves made them practically interchangeable anyway.

Silk, Spider-Girl, and the dark-haired Spider-Woman grunted sharply as their minds were pushed back through their heads and instantly re-engaged with their bodies. The ends of the tentacles unlocked from the skulls, thrusted the new maintenance jacks into place to seal the head trauma, and let the heroines free.

Jess staggered to her feet. Anya groggily rolled over on her side. Cindy struggled up on all fours. They shook their heads as they rubbed their atrocious migraines. Gwen flipped down from her inverted crouching spot and landed on her feet in the middle of the group.

"Enjoy the complimentary head grooming, ladies! It was a little mushy for me at first, but it fits great once all the bolts settle in!"

The aches subsided as the new brain signals took effect. The three costumed capers stood up at attention with Gwen. Their first utterances once all the moans stopped were soft maniacal chuckling from behind their masks.

A minute ago, they had been drawn into the shared plight of having their conscience centers freed from their spandex-clad husks and swirled through cybernetic limbo. There was no denying spongy pink membranes had brushed together while neurons sparked from one lobe to another. Now they couldn't keep their eyes away from one another and their subconscious was driven by the need to stay as close together as they had been in the blender. It had been an experience in teambuilding in the rawest and most direct form.

Octavius was pleased with the initial test results. The drastic change in personalities and the subtle mannerisms all pointed to the same conclusion: Four different Spider-Women were now on his side. That was enough to destroy any enemy, conquer any continent, or, if Gwen had her way, maybe even start a second band.

* * *

 _Author's note: Just wait until that Mary Jane Venom abomination gets pulled into this plotline._

 _Author's note 2: This was inspired by that collage cover art for Spider-Gwen #7, in case you couldn't tell. I downgraded one of the Cindys from that scene into Anya because it got too confusing when I tried to write it with two of them running around. It's bad enough that you already have two bodysnatched brainsucked characters who both call themselves "Spider-Woman." But it was pretty funny when the two brains Doc accidentally swapped around belonged to the Cindys._


End file.
